Model Boat Mayhem

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length.

Author Topic: Jokes & Humour II  (Read 227460 times)

Martin (Admin)

  • Administrator
  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 23,426
  • Location: Peterborough, UK
    • Model Boat Mayhem
Re: Jokes & Humour II
« Reply #350 on: January 22, 2009, 08:55:13 am »


A new Middle East crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'.
A spokesman for the channel said “A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humour, but we have heard that people in Abu Dhabi Do"
Logged
"This is my firm opinion, but what do I know?!" -  Visit the Mayhem FaceBook Groups!  &  Giant Models

amdaylight

  • Guest
Re: Jokes & Humour II
« Reply #351 on: January 22, 2009, 06:37:49 pm »

groan . . . . .  O0 {-)
Logged

omra85

  • Guest
Re: Jokes & Humour II
« Reply #352 on: January 22, 2009, 08:01:27 pm »

I read it at lunchtime and thought it was a humorous? highbrow 'living in caves' reference to the rich of Dubai and the poor of Abu Dhabi (if they have any)  {:-{

I've just got it  :embarrassed: :embarrassed: :embarrassed: :embarrassed:

(groan - again!)

Thicket
Logged

malcolmfrary

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 6,027
  • Location: Blackpool, Lancs, UK
Re: Jokes & Humour II
« Reply #353 on: January 22, 2009, 11:04:40 pm »

Perhaps we ought to award Martin the Sinbad Award (Prince of Bad Gags)
Logged
"With the right tool, you can break anything" - Garfield

White Ensign

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 779
  • Limits must be limited!
  • Location: Stuttgart, Germany
Re: Jokes & Humour II
« Reply #354 on: January 24, 2009, 11:37:35 am »

,,, Malcolm, this just brings some "Sinbad-memories", where we are not sure if we Miss....  {-)

Jörg
Logged
When God created planet earth, he made it with 75% of water. Bet he had the modelboaters on his mind!

malcolmfrary

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 6,027
  • Location: Blackpool, Lancs, UK
Re: Jokes & Humour II
« Reply #355 on: January 24, 2009, 05:07:56 pm »

That was a long time ago Jörg, we've all passed a lot of water under the bridge since then.
Logged
"With the right tool, you can break anything" - Garfield

White Ensign

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 779
  • Limits must be limited!
  • Location: Stuttgart, Germany
Re: Jokes & Humour II
« Reply #356 on: January 24, 2009, 08:43:59 pm »

... dead right, mate....  {-)
Logged
When God created planet earth, he made it with 75% of water. Bet he had the modelboaters on his mind!

DickyD

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 9,423
  • www.srcmbc.org.uk
  • Location: Southampton UK
    • SRCMBC
Re: Jokes & Humour II
« Reply #357 on: January 24, 2009, 09:05:05 pm »

I've certainly passed a lot of water since then.

Hi Jörg you alright ?   {:-{
Logged
Richard Solent Radio Controlled Model Boat Club http://www.srcmbc.org.uk

omra85

  • Guest
Re: Jokes & Humour II
« Reply #358 on: January 24, 2009, 09:15:14 pm »

I've certainly passed a lot of water since then.

Usually in the middle of the night  O0 O0
I can find my way to the bathroom in the dark easier than I can with the light on  %) %) {-) {-)

Hi too, Jorg (your colloquialisms are improving - although you seem to be developing an Cockney accent)  :-)  :-))

Danny
 
Logged

Colin Bishop

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 12,188
  • Location: SW Surrey, UK
Re: Jokes & Humour II
« Reply #359 on: January 24, 2009, 09:16:38 pm »

Quote
I can find my way to the bathroom in the dark easier than I can with the light on 

Does that not have an adverse effect upon accuracy when you arrive?
Logged

omra85

  • Guest
Re: Jokes & Humour II
« Reply #360 on: January 24, 2009, 09:18:36 pm »

The light pull switch is rated at 110 dB - I blame it on the cat ........   :embarrassed: {-) {-)
Logged

DickyD

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 9,423
  • www.srcmbc.org.uk
  • Location: Southampton UK
    • SRCMBC
Re: Jokes & Humour II
« Reply #361 on: January 24, 2009, 09:22:39 pm »

Quote
I can find my way to the bathroom in the dark easier than I can with the light on 

Does that not have an adverse effect upon accuracy when you arrive?
Not with me Colin, I'm usually asleep and I'm experienced not like that upstart Danny.

What's this cat that he's on about ? {:-{
Logged
Richard Solent Radio Controlled Model Boat Club http://www.srcmbc.org.uk

portside II

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,523
  • tugs at rest
  • Location: Howden.East Riding of Yorkshire.England Near the banks of the river Ouse
    • goole model boat club indi site
Re: Jokes & Humour II
« Reply #362 on: January 24, 2009, 09:55:32 pm »

come on Richard , you need a cat or dog to blame when you miss the target.
Omra85 whats the db level of water at 3 feet.
daz
Logged
I like to build my boats to play with, not to just look pretty, so they dont !

omra85

  • Guest
Re: Jokes & Humour II
« Reply #363 on: January 24, 2009, 10:29:04 pm »

On full flow - about 50dB, but on a slow trickle .........  lets not go there   %) {-) {-) {-)
(That's only a guess - I haven't actually stood there and measured it [ the SOUND that is!] besides I could'nt see the meter   %% )
Logged

Ghost in the shell

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,704
Re: Jokes & Humour II
« Reply #364 on: January 29, 2009, 11:08:16 pm »

how to deal with telemarketers
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=un_PjRXV5l8 
Logged
Go Nuclear!  you'll love it

amdaylight

  • Guest
Re: Jokes & Humour II
« Reply #365 on: January 30, 2009, 02:28:29 am »

how to deal with telemarketers
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=un_PjRXV5l8 

Rolling around laughing my a** off, not that's funny I don't care who you are.

Andre
over yonder in Portland Oregon
Logged

Ghost in the shell

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,704
Re: Jokes & Humour II
« Reply #366 on: January 30, 2009, 11:11:30 pm »

reality tv at its best thanks to the late jeremy beadle

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=NhwMCQ8CfSs
Logged
Go Nuclear!  you'll love it

Ghost in the shell

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,704
Re: Jokes & Humour II
« Reply #367 on: January 30, 2009, 11:13:09 pm »

revenge!!!!

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=pO3BvGEWT9c

yes. beadle again
Logged
Go Nuclear!  you'll love it

White Ensign

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 779
  • Limits must be limited!
  • Location: Stuttgart, Germany
Re: Jokes & Humour II
« Reply #368 on: January 31, 2009, 05:21:39 pm »

... ok boys, while we`re talking `bout Youtube...- eat this!

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=u5avOaM4oAw
Logged
When God created planet earth, he made it with 75% of water. Bet he had the modelboaters on his mind!

barryfoote

  • Guest
Re: Jokes & Humour II
« Reply #369 on: January 31, 2009, 05:27:11 pm »

To change the topic...
SUPPORTIVE HUSBAND
 
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they
were younger. When you notice this, try not to shout at them. Some are over-sensitive and there's nothing worse than an over-sensitive Woman.

My name is Rod. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Tricia.
 
When I took early retirement last year, it became necessary for Tricia to get a full-time job for the extra income that we need.
 Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age.  I now usually get home from the pub about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she nearly always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't shout at her, instead I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table.   I generally have lunch at the pub so eating out again is out of the question; I'm ready for some home cooked food when I get in.

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's usual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.  I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves.   I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.
 
Another symptom of ageing is complaining. For example, she will say that it Is difficult for her to do the shopping during her lunch hour.   But we take them for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then won't hurt her. I like to think tact is one of my strong points.
 
When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She has to take a rest when she has only half finished mowing the lawn and several extra breaks when she's vacuuming through the house.   It does annoy me, vacuuming when I'm trying to watch 'Match of the Day', but I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to make herself a nice cup of tea and just sit for a while, and as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too. I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Tricia.

I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult.  Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.
 
 
EDITOR'S NOTE:
 
Rod died suddenly last week. He was found with a kitchen knife in his chest.
His wife Tricia was arrested, but the all-woman jury accepted her defence that he slipped and fell while holding the knife.
Logged

White Ensign

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 779
  • Limits must be limited!
  • Location: Stuttgart, Germany
Re: Jokes & Humour II
« Reply #370 on: January 31, 2009, 05:47:18 pm »

Footski, stop following that report (the effects may hurt)... and remember that there will be Valentines day in two weeks....
(We had some posts last year about how to avoyd Valentines day....)  %)

Jörg

Logged
When God created planet earth, he made it with 75% of water. Bet he had the modelboaters on his mind!

barryfoote

  • Guest
Re: Jokes & Humour II
« Reply #371 on: January 31, 2009, 06:11:57 pm »

Thanks for the advise Jorg......I must gently remind her that Valentines day is around the corner so she can collect the flowers when she is passing the florist shop.. %% %%
Logged

craftysod

  • Guest
Re: Jokes & Humour II
« Reply #372 on: January 31, 2009, 07:41:38 pm »

If i buy my other half flowers,i'm guilty of something,just respond with buying them early for your funeral,
because of inflation  :}
Logged

Colin Bishop

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 12,188
  • Location: SW Surrey, UK
Re: Jokes & Humour II
« Reply #373 on: January 31, 2009, 09:57:30 pm »

Don't overload your Donkey cart....   http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=W-n93ZUwafk&feature=related
Logged

Peter Fitness

  • Global Moderator
  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 7,376
  • Location: Wyrallah, near Lismore NSW Australia
Re: Jokes & Humour II
« Reply #374 on: January 31, 2009, 10:26:41 pm »

Don't overload your Donkey cart....   

Or your bicycle  :-) I took this photo in Saigon (Ho Chi Minh City), there is actually a woman standing behind the bike - if you look carefully, you can just see her legs.

Peter.
Logged
Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 [15] 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24   Go Up
 

Page created in 0.1 seconds with 21 queries.