Model Boat Mayhem or Martin Davis  is not responsible, in any way for any sales, advice, or information that may come about from this website. All sales are at your own risk and costs, "let the buyer and seller beware!"

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There are no BOGOF (Buy One Get One Free)  on this site. Some of the information in this site is true, accurate, important, unbelievable, non conductive, subject to alteration without notice, non refundable, subject to any whim that suits me and not accurate in any way! No COD's. In Martian  where available. Subtitles on page 888 of Teletext. Employees must wash hands before returning to work. Results may vary. Prices May be higher South of London when raining. Do not flush used cars in the toilet. Non-comedgenic (will not clog pores). This DATA contained herein has been compiled from sources I believe reliable, but under no condition do I hold myself or anyone else responsible for any accuracy or inaccuracy, implied or explicit, notable or unnoticed which may appear or disappear. Everything which is contained on these pages, as well as things contained on the links from these pages, as well as many other things in life, may offend you, your parents and the dog next door. Opinions found herein are made up. Do not cheat at Cluedo. I can see you through this computer screen. Employees do not know the combination to the safe or my number of my secret Swedish bank account. Any vehicle left more than 30 days will be auctioned to the highest bidder. Your mileage may vary. Your perception of life may be wrong. Just because you are paranoid, they still may be out to get you. Do not over inflate your tires or your ego. These pages are made from 100% recycled electrons. This is not a competition, this is only an exhibition; please, no betting. This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead or otherwise indisposed, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. This way up. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to governmental approval. This is not a pyramid  saving scheme. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Fragile at best of times. Use other side for additional information. Open other end. Tear along perforation.  For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 81 years of age. This page is non refundable. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on packaging. Subject to change without notice. The lights are on but thereís no one home. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in my back garden. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. Your cheque is in the post. Slippery when wet. Dangerous when dry. For office use only. Not affiliated with the Red Cross. Warranty void if abused. Drop in any postbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Don't feed the zebra. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. If it donít work, donít blame us. At participating restaurants only. This is only a simulation. Don't try this in your living room; these are trained professionals. Penalty for private use. See label for order of play. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Keep all appendages within designated areas. Do not write below this line. Falling rocks. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Moses  was here. Your cancelled cheque is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Out to lunch. Slightly higher than you would think when first seen. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. May be hazardous to health if consumed in excessive quantities. We har Not rospinsable for tipograficul errrerrs. No returns unless defective. Money only refunded on lost items returned in original packing. Processed at location stamped in code at top of envelope. Don't even think about parking here. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames. Replace with same type. Approved for O A Ps. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include tax. No Foreign coins. Not recommended for children, adults, men, women, juveniles or persons over 233 years . Under penalty of law, this tag not to be removed except by consumer. Prerecorded for ease of the presenter. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Wax on, wax off. Call your doctor, you donít look well. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Would you like fries with that? Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Use a microscope to inspect small print. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. Microsoft is a trademark of a very rich man. Do not fold, fillet or mutilate. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Sold by weight, not volume. Keep a safe distance. No electrons were harmed in the creation of this page. Everything presented here is either fact or fiction, and as such contains no warranty either express or implied. See back of page for plan to bank vault. Vehicles in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they actually are. SHAKE WELL BEFORE USE. Separation may happen over time, ( but don't worry kids, daddy still loves mummy) Errors & Omissions excepted. This site may also contain nuts... the site was certainly designed by one! E&OE.This supersedes all previous notices unless indicated otherwise so there!

All text and images Copyright © Martin Davis 2002 - 3002 - All rights reserved... whatever that means!

 Last updated: 12 September 2021