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Author Topic: beggars  (Read 5702 times)

ashgarth

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beggars
« on: April 03, 2009, 04:49:43 pm »

 Jose and  Carlos are both beggars. They beg in different parts of 20 town.

Carlos begs for the same amount of time as Jose, but only collects about eight or nine dollars a day.

Jose brings home a suitcase full of ten dollar bills every day. He drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house, and has a lot of money to spend.

"Hey, amigo," Carlos says to Jose, "I work just as long and hard as you do, so how come you bring home a suitcase full of ten dollar bills every day?
 
 Jose says,
"Look at your sign, what does it say?"
 
 Carlo's sign reads;
 "I have no work, a wife and six kids to support."

"What's wrong with that?" Carlos asks him.
 
 "No wonder you only get eight or nine dollars a day!"
 
 Carlo's says, "Alright, what does your sign say?"
 
 It reads,
"I only need ten more dollars to get back to Mexico .."
 
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Abuelo3

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Re: beggars
« Reply #1 on: April 13, 2009, 10:19:01 pm »

That's are not funny to all people, sorry but it is not funny.
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Roger in France

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Re: beggars
« Reply #2 on: April 14, 2009, 07:16:49 am »

I am confident the joke reflects well on Mexicans, if you think about it.

(PM sent to Godo)

Roger in france
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BarryM

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Re: beggars
« Reply #3 on: April 14, 2009, 01:53:30 pm »

Roger,

I've thought about it - now tell me how?

Barry M
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Roger in France

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Re: beggars
« Reply #4 on: April 14, 2009, 02:19:29 pm »

Because one beggar recognised that some folk are bigots and would pay him to go away and he was astute enough to capatalise on such bigotry.

Roger in France.
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BarryM

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Re: beggars
« Reply #5 on: April 14, 2009, 03:31:14 pm »

Roger,
That's  one interpretation; the other one's offensive. Why not simply delete the thread and save offence?

Barry M
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Malcolm Reade

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Re: beggars
« Reply #6 on: April 14, 2009, 05:20:05 pm »

Do we need to be so Politically Correct?

We'll be banning English men/ Irish men/ Scots men jokes next...

I can understand Godo being upset to a point, but we all have to learn to laugh at ourselves.

Malc


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Roger in France

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Re: beggars
« Reply #7 on: April 14, 2009, 05:34:05 pm »

Which is exactly why I did not delete it Malcolm.

In case it lost something in translation I have written an explanatory PM to Godo. I do care about his feelings but I thought carefully about this situation before acting as I do in any similar situation.

Some folk are incorrectly PC. I hope I am correct when there is real potential for insult but life is a rough and tumble. By all means protest when things are really unacceptable but not when no offence is intended and should not be taken just because one's own details (such as country of birth) are mentioned.

On the other hand, with a little care, it is possible to avoid the accusation of racism. For example: "Two beggars from an adjoining country were in the habit of begging near the border......".

I am VERY sensitive to protect folk from insults and denigration. However, I will not bow to an excessive demand for feather bedding.

Roger in France (in my personal capacity, not written with my Moderator's hat on!).
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Abuelo3

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Re: beggars
« Reply #8 on: April 14, 2009, 05:41:14 pm »

Hello to everyone
I lived at the frontier, some times, many times I had felling that I was not very "wellcomed", I have to said that about these item I'm fragile in my feelings  >>:-(, but a read again the joke and it is a very good one :}
Please take again my word of friendship
Best wishes
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Roger in France

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Re: beggars
« Reply #9 on: April 14, 2009, 05:44:34 pm »

Thanks Godo.

Living in a country other than my native place and struggling with a unfamiliar language always makes me wonder what I am missing when a joke is told.

I am sure there are very different "senses of humour" in different countries.

Roger in France
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Colin Bishop

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Re: beggars
« Reply #10 on: April 14, 2009, 06:02:14 pm »

Here in the UK there are many varying senses of humour in ONE country.  %)

Colin
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John W E

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Re: beggars
« Reply #11 on: April 14, 2009, 06:15:42 pm »

and not to mention here in the UK there are many many funny beggars  ;) ;) ;) O0 O0 O0

The world would be a sad place for us all if there were no sense of humour  ;) ;) ok2

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BarryM

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Re: beggars
« Reply #12 on: April 14, 2009, 06:17:06 pm »

Here in the UK there are many varying senses of humour in ONE country.  %)

Colin

Actually there are 4 countries in the UK but I expect you knew that?

Barry M
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Colin Bishop

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Re: beggars
« Reply #13 on: April 14, 2009, 06:19:04 pm »

Quote
and not to mention here in the UK there are many many funny beggars  

And you can find most of them here on Mayhem!  :-))

Quite right Barry, I should have said England, opening it up to Wales, Scotland and NI and the sky's the limit!

Colin
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BarryM

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Re: beggars
« Reply #14 on: April 14, 2009, 06:40:46 pm »

Which is exactly why I did not delete it Malcolm.

In case it lost something in translation I have written an explanatory PM to Godo. I do care about his feelings but I thought carefully about this situation before acting as I do in any similar situation.

Some folk are incorrectly PC. I hope I am correct when there is real potential for insult but life is a rough and tumble. By all means protest when things are really unacceptable but not when no offence is intended and should not be taken just because one's own details (such as country of birth) are mentioned.

On the other hand, with a little care, it is possible to avoid the accusation of racism. For example: "Two beggars from an adjoining country were in the habit of begging near the border......".

I am VERY sensitive to protect folk from insults and denigration. However, I will not bow to an excessive demand for feather bedding.

Roger in France (in my personal capacity, not written with my Moderator's hat on!).

Roger,

I am the last to accept the title of 'PC'.  However, when you have to offer alternative wording as above then you are undermining your own case. If the wording as given is not offensive, why should you consider any editing as necessary?

I got this 'joke' by email recently; the only difference was in the nationality quoted and the intention was, without question, to be both overtly offensive and racist. This is a multi-purpose "joke"; insert the nationalty or indeed mental/physical disability etc. of your choice. See where it starts to lead?

It is not a question of "featherbedding": just one of good manners, taste and not being needlessly offensive.

Barry M
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DickyD

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Re: beggars
« Reply #15 on: April 14, 2009, 06:54:45 pm »

Blimey I thought the heading of this section was "Humour"  {:-{
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BarryM

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Re: beggars
« Reply #16 on: April 14, 2009, 07:09:44 pm »

Quite right! I guess this posting was put iunder the wrong heading. Let's get back to something funny.

Barry M

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DickyD

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Re: NOT beggars
« Reply #17 on: April 14, 2009, 07:18:25 pm »

A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he approached his assistant.  "Murphy, I am going hunting tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take car of all me patients".  "Yes, sir!" answers Murphy.
 
The doctor goes fishing and returns the following day and asks:  "So, Murphy, how was your day?"  Murphy told him that he took care of three patients.  "The first one had a headache so he did, so I gave him Paracetamol."
 
"Bravo Murphy lad, and the second one?" asks the doctor. "The second one had indigestion and I gave him Gaviscon, so I did sir" says Murphy.  "Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?" asks the doctor.
 
"Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door flies open and a young gorgeous woman borsts in so she does.
Like bolt outta the blue, she tears off her clothes, taking off everyting including her bra and her panties and lies down on the table, spreading her legs and  shouts:
 
'HELP ME for the love of St Patrick! For five years I have not seen any man!'"  "Tunderin' lard Lord Murphy, what did you do?" asks the  doctor.
 
"I put some drops in her eyes."
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regiment

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Re: beggars
« Reply #18 on: April 14, 2009, 07:22:11 pm »

like ken dodd
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DickyD

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Re: DEFINITELY NOT beggars
« Reply #19 on: April 14, 2009, 07:25:25 pm »

Note to self:   'Cancel credit cards prior to death !
 
Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die! This is so priceless .
And so easy to see happening - customer service, being what it is today!
 
 
A lady died this past January, and MBNA bank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and Then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had
Been E0.00, now is somewhere around E60.00.   
A family member placed a call to the MBNA Bank: 
Family Member:
'I am calling to tell you that she died in January.'
 
MBNA:
'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'
 
Family Member:
'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.'
 
 
MBNA:
'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'
 
Family Member:
So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'
 
MBNA:
'Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to The credit bureau, maybe both!'
 
Family Member:
'Do you think God will be mad at her?'
 
MBNA:
'Excuse me?'
 
Family Member:
'Did you just get what I was telling you . . . The part about her Being dead?'
 
MBNA:
'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'
 
Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member:
'I'm calling to tell you, she died in January.'
 
MBNA:
'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'
 
Family Member:
'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'
 
MBNA:
(Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'
 
Family Member:
'No, I'm her great nephew.' (Lawyer info given)
 
MBNA:
'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'
 
Family Member:
'Sure.' ( fax number is given )
 
After they get the fax:
 
MBNA:
'Our system just isn't set up for death. I don't know what more I Can do to help.'
 
Family Member:
'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing Her. I don't think she will care.'
 
MBNA:
'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.'
 
 
Family Member:
'Would you like her new billing address?'
 
MBNA:
'That might help.'
 
Family Member:
' Glasnevin Cemetry, Finglas Road, Dublin 11, Ireland, Plot Number 1049.'
 
MBNA:
'Sir, that's a cemetery!'
 
Family Member:
'Well, what the **** do you do with dead people on your planet?'
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BarryM

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Re: beggars
« Reply #20 on: April 14, 2009, 07:40:54 pm »

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