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[RaaArtyGunner]

The Hotel Bill

Next time you think your hotel bill is too high, you might want to consider this:

My wife and I were travelling by car from Liverpool to Shetland. 
Being Seniors, after almost seven hours on the road, we were too tired to continue, and decided to take an hotel room in Dundee.
But, we only planned to sleep overnight and then get back on the road.
When we checked out next morning, the desk clerk handed us a bill for £250.00.

I exploded and demanded to know why the charge was so high.
I told the clerk although it's a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren't worth £250.00 for just an overnight stop without even breakfast.
The clerk told me that £250.00 is the 'standard rate' so I insisted on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appeared, listened to me, and then explained that the hotel had an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre that they were available for us to use.
'But we didn't use them," I said.
''Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager.

He went on to explain that we could also have taken in one of the in-hotel shows for which the hotel is famous.
"We have the best entertainers from Edinburgh, Glasgow, and Aberdeen performing here," the Manager said.

"But we didn't go to any of those shows," I said.
"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied.

No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, I replied, "But we didn't use it!"

The Manager is unmoved, and eventually I gave up and agreed to pay.

I wrote a cheque and gave it to the Manager.

The Manager was surprised when he looked at the cheque.
"But sir, this cheque is only made out for £50.00."
''That's correct. I charged you £200.00 for sleeping with my wife," I replied.

"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.

I said, "Well, too bad, she was here, and you could have."

Don't mess with Senior Citizens

 

[tt1]

B----Y cracker  - nice one!

[aestus57]

Which reminds me about the three guys who go to a hotel and ask the receptionist if they can share the cheapest room in the hotel.

The receptionist tells them that the cheapest they have is £30.00, so they each chip in £10.00.

She tells the Manager about this and he says she should only have charged them £25.00 and tells her to give them £5.00 back.

Not being able to split £5 between the three of the guests, she gives them each £1 back and keeps £2 for herself. That means each of the guests paid £9

So .... 3 X £9    =   £27    plus the £2 she kept for herself  =  £29.00..... where did the £1 disappear to ?????

[malcolmfrary]

So .... 3 X £9    =   £27    plus the £2 she kept for herself  =  £29.00..... where did the £1 disappear to ?????

Really, £30 - £3 = £27,  from that its £27 - £2 = £25 that the hotel manager thought he had charged.  This is why the retail trade insists on having machines work the change out.

[RaaArtyGunner]

The Pastor is being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish.


A leading local Politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner.

However, the politician was delayed because he was listenening to Oakeshott's decision, Abbott's whinging, and waiting to find out if the Bulldogs picked Gillard in their footy team,
so the Pastor decided to say his own few words while they waited:

'I got my first impression of the parish from the very first confession I heard here.
I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place.
The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it.
He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave VD to his sister.
I was appalled.

But as the days went on I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.'...

Just as the Pastor finished his talk, the Politician arrived full of apologies at being late.
He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk:

'I'll never forget the first day our parish Pastor arrived,' said the Politician.
 'In fact, I had the honor of being the first person to go to him for confession.'


Moral : Never, Never, Never Be Late.

[tt1]

Between you and Colin H ---------- ! keep 'em coming, good for the morale of the forum   

Got to ask R A G, is it Brisbane that's classed as the sunshine State? - there is a reason behind the question.
         
                Regards, Tony.

[RaaArtyGunner]

Between you and Colin H ---------- ! keep 'em coming, good for the morale of the forum   

Got to ask R A G, is it Brisbane that's classed as the sunshine State? - there is a reason behind the question.
         
                Regards, Tony.

Tony,
Queensland,  which is one of the three Australian states on the Eastern seaboard much to the chagrin  of the other 2 Eastern states, in order, New South Wales  and Victoria  , who are represented on this forum, is the "Sunshine State", with Brisbane as it's Capital city.
Gotta go now and put on my bullet proof vest.