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Author Topic: Wee Toms Railway  (Read 1684 times)

jaymac

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Wee Toms Railway
« on: November 07, 2014, 06:14:37 pm »

 A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train set in the living room.
She heard the train stop and her son saying, 'All of You B*****ds who want
off, get off now, 'cos we're in a hurry!
All of you B*****ds who are getting on, get on now, 'cos we're going down the tracks'.
The horrified mother went in and told her son, 'We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and stay there for TWO HOURS.
When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language.
Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say,
'All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you.
We thank you for travelling with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one.
She hears the little boy continue, 'For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat.
Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today.'
As the mother began to smile, the child added.......... 'For those of you, who are pi**ed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the fat controller in the kitchen.
 
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Capt Podge

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Re: Wee Toms Railway
« Reply #1 on: November 07, 2014, 10:22:01 pm »

 {-) {-) {-)  Good one!
 
...reminds me of another one I heard when I was a young 'un...
 
Johnny and his little brother Billy come home after school.
Mum says "Hello boys, hope you had a nice day at school"
 
She then asks Johnny "what would you like for tea ?"
Johnny, who hasn't had a good day, says "I'll just have some f*****g beans"
 
His mother goes ballistic and gives him a heavy beating - when she calms down she says to Billy "what would you like for tea? "
 
Little Billy comes back with "well, I don't want any of those f*****g beans!"
 
 
Regards,
 
Ray.
 
(kind of loses it's impact when you can't use the full words) :((
 
 
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