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[Nemo]

Three aspiring psychiatrists from three universities, were attending their first class on emotional extremes.

'Just to establish some parameters,' said the professor to the student from Oxford University, 'What is the opposite of joy?''Sadness' said the student.
'And the opposite of depression?' he asked the young lady from Cambridge. 'Elation,' she said.

'And you, sir,' he said to the student from Dublin University, 'How about the opposite of woe?' The student replied, 'I believe that would be giddy up'

[TailUK]

A well known eye surgeon was giving his inaugural lecture at the teaching hospital. To begin he picked out a very prim young lady in the front and asked her.
"Can you tell me which part of the body can expand to 5 times it's normal size when a person is emotionally excited?"
The girl blushed and said,
"I refuse to answer that question!"
"Well, the answer is the human Iris,  which is the subject of this lecture and that tells me 2 things about you" the doctor continued," One is that you've failed to study my notes on this lecture and you are going to be very, very disappointed!"