Model Boat Mayhem

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Author Topic: Aussies love Irish Jokes  (Read 19922 times)

GAZOU

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Re: Aussies love Irish Jokes
« Reply #25 on: November 05, 2013, 05:28:39 am »

Paddy's Girlfriend.
 
  After proposing to his girlfriend at the weekend, Paddy was driving to Brighton for a night of passion.
 
As he pulled up at a set of traffic lights on red he slid his hand under her skirt up past the top of her stockings and stopped.
 
“She whispered in his ear” “Paddy as we are now engaged you can go further” so Paddy drove on to Bournemouth.
 
%) %) %)
 
I did not understand
Can someone explain me?

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derekwarner

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Re: Aussies love Irish Jokes
« Reply #26 on: November 05, 2013, 05:49:39 am »

 :D ...this is a family forum GAZOU  :o ..........otherwise I would offer a different explanation of Paddy's actions..........or stupid action..... <*<  .......Derek
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
 Après avoir proposé à sa petite amie à la fin de semaine, Paddy se rendait à Brighton pour une nuit de passion.Comme il a tiré vers le haut à un feu de signalisation rouge, il a glissé sa main sous sa jupe vers le haut, au-delà du haut de ses bas et s'est arrêté.
« Elle murmura à l'oreille » "Paddy que nous nous livrons actuellement vous pouvez aller plus loin" donc Paddy rendu à Bournemouth.
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Derek Warner

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GAZOU

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Re: Aussies love Irish Jokes
« Reply #27 on: November 05, 2013, 07:35:40 am »

 {-)
 
the French are not known for this kind of action but I think I begin to understand, I would have to ask an Italian O0 :-))
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jaymac

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Re: Aussies love Irish Jokes
« Reply #28 on: November 05, 2013, 09:22:14 am »

I don't think perhaps using the word Stupid in reference to an Irish joke is  advisable. ;)
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derekwarner

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Re: Aussies love Irish Jokes
« Reply #29 on: November 05, 2013, 10:17:25 am »

OK....how about ....just plain "dumb"..... {-)
You must also realise that I am a proud direct descendent of Irish convict stock in the First Fleet to OZ  <*< all of those years ago........Derek  :-))
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GAZOU

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Re: Aussies love Irish Jokes
« Reply #30 on: November 05, 2013, 11:24:59 am »

hello

humor is knowing laugh at all
including self-

on the French forum they laugh a lot about me
and it made ​​me laugh

I love Ireland, I'm three weeks each year :-)) :-)) :-))
 
 
australia is too far and I fear Kangasroo O0   
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jaymac

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Re: Aussies love Irish Jokes
« Reply #31 on: November 05, 2013, 12:53:04 pm »

Perhaps it might have been Any relation to Ned Kelly?  :}
 
Gazou my Avatar laughs at you  all the time :-)
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GAZOU

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Re: Aussies love Irish Jokes
« Reply #32 on: November 05, 2013, 01:04:34 pm »

 :-)) {-) {-) {-) {-) {-) {-) {-)
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GAZOU

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Re: Aussies love Irish Jokes
« Reply #33 on: November 05, 2013, 03:48:30 pm »

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jaymac

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Re: Aussies love Irish Jokes
« Reply #34 on: November 05, 2013, 06:37:44 pm »

 {-) {-) {-)  Good I suppose if the Bride had sung it she could have done it as a variant of ''I Fall To Pieces''
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tigertiger

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Re: Aussies love Irish Jokes
« Reply #35 on: November 06, 2013, 09:05:23 am »

         "Murphy drops some buttered  toast on the kitchen floor. It lands butter-side-up. He looks at what he  has done in astonishment, for he knows it’s a law of nature that buttered  toast always falls butter-down.


You can laugh, but "several scientific studies have proven that when toast is dropped from a table (as opposed to being thrown in the air), it does fall butter-side down at least 62% of the time" [/size][size=78%]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buttered_toast_phenomenon[/size]
[/size]Not a lot of people know that.[size=78%]
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malcolmfrary

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Re: Aussies love Irish Jokes
« Reply #36 on: November 06, 2013, 09:43:38 am »

True enough, but almost invariably, said toast starts off butter side up.  Assuming a standard height table and normal gravity and no strong draught, 62% of the time the slice does half a flip.  The question that now arises is "Why do 38% behave differently?".  Then "How do they vary?"  Do they just fall flat, do they do a non flipping flutter, or do they manage a full turn?  Seeing that the table did not suddenly de-materialize, the toast must have had a sideways motion and this could have an effect on rotation during its plummet.
I think I'll just go and check what brand of coffee I've been using to wake up with.
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Netleyned

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Re: Aussies love Irish Jokes
« Reply #37 on: November 06, 2013, 09:58:54 am »

Are we talking full slices as triangles and soldiers
have different aerodynamic properties.

Ned (on the same coffee probably)
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derekwarner

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Re: Aussies love Irish Jokes
« Reply #38 on: November 06, 2013, 10:01:48 am »

Well in OZ...we have a product called Tip Top Raisin toast...it tastes YUMMO  :-))
Only problem is that the raisins are not necessarily equally dispersed throughout the slices
From this....... :o  it could be concluded that an ill balanced slice of Tip Top Raisin toast could self flip ........between the plate & your mouth...... {-)  .....Derek
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Derek Warner

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derekwarner

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Re: Aussies love Irish Jokes
« Reply #39 on: November 06, 2013, 10:09:43 am »

YUMMO :-)) ......they were so nice ..... O0 ...I may just go up stairs & toast another few slices with a cup of English Breakfast tea.....   :P :P :P ...goodnight......Derek
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dougal99

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Re: Aussies love Irish Jokes
« Reply #40 on: November 06, 2013, 11:33:03 am »

Does it really matter what side hits the floor? Just pick off the bigger bits of sawdust, fluff etc and eat as normal!! %% %%
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vnkiwi

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Re: Aussies love Irish Jokes
« Reply #41 on: November 06, 2013, 05:56:55 pm »

My sentiments exactly
 :-))
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davidm1945

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Re: Aussies love Irish Jokes
« Reply #42 on: November 06, 2013, 08:41:43 pm »

Remember the 10 second rule - anything that falls on the floor and is rescued within 10 seconds is safe to eat...

So said my mum, so it must be right!

Dave
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RAAArtyGunner

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Re: Aussies love Irish Jokes
« Reply #43 on: November 06, 2013, 08:44:07 pm »

Couple of things
 
1. The figures/statistics do not take gravitational pull into question, is the results the same down under cos we iz upside down, physically that is.
 
2. What of the rule of thumb that if it is only on the ground for no longer than two ten seconds its OK to eat , includes butter side down.
 
Just a novice keen to learn L
O0 O0 %) %) %)
 
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dpbarry

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Re: Aussies love Irish Jokes
« Reply #44 on: November 06, 2013, 10:01:00 pm »

;) The wife would not let me have butter something about being bad for my ticker, does it work with margarine,happy sailing,RAY. ;) ;) ;)


Butter is natural.. Margarine manufactured and full of chemicals. I know which one i prefer.. And it tastes better  %%


Declan
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dpbarry

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Re: Aussies love Irish Jokes
« Reply #45 on: November 06, 2013, 10:05:08 pm »

Well in OZ...we have a product called Tip Top Raisin toast...it tastes YUMMO  :-))
Only problem is that the raisins are not necessarily equally dispersed throughout the slices
From this....... :o  it could be concluded that an ill balanced slice of Tip Top Raisin toast could self flip ........between the plate & your mouth...... {-)  .....Derek


Yuke.. >:-o  Dead flies in toast. Makes yer stomach churn
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RAAArtyGunner

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Re: Aussies love Irish Jokes
« Reply #46 on: November 06, 2013, 10:10:06 pm »


Yuke.. >:-o  Dead flies in toast. Makes yer stomach churn

 :o :o :o :o :o
 
Should have been mentioned, that they have been  sun dried.  O0 O0 O0 O0
 
Aussie sun kills germs, not to mention other things  %) %) %) %)
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jaymac

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Re: Aussies love Irish Jokes
« Reply #47 on: November 06, 2013, 10:31:48 pm »

Surely  one justs butters both sides then it lands upright on its edge ok2
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derekwarner

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Re: Aussies love Irish Jokes
« Reply #48 on: November 06, 2013, 10:45:52 pm »

Must be very very cautious at the Supermarket  %) ......some dingbat bread manufacturer [English Muffins Ltd] is producing Raisin Toast called Café Style..... <*< ....
Only problem is the slices are 1"thick........yes 25.4 mm thick  >>:-( & they don't fit in a standard OZ toaster that was made in China........
Did dbp really mean fly toast or fry toast?.........as another OZ bread speciality is "fried toad in the hole"..... {-)  [a slice of bread with a circular cut out in the middle & filled with mashed potato]........then gently fried on the BBQ  :embarrassed:  ....then with a gentle drizzle of Tomato or HP sauce
We also have an old Irish tradition of char grilled kangaroo slithers on toast %)  with witchetty grub sauce......... :P ......Derek
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BrianB6

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Re: Aussies love Irish Jokes
« Reply #49 on: November 06, 2013, 11:01:04 pm »

Don't forget the Vegemite   O0
An Australian joke on the rest of the world
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