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Author Topic: I will never understand women!  (Read 12060 times)

morley bill 1

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Re: I will never understand women!
« Reply #25 on: October 18, 2015, 09:59:52 AM »

You can allways retreat to the boat shed..Bill...
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Capt Podge

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Re: I will never understand women!
« Reply #26 on: October 18, 2015, 04:34:46 PM »

How to avoid the woman - Work On Models All Night
 
women -if there's more than one in the household - Work On Models Every Night
 
 
Took me a while to work those acronyms out 'cause I was being nagged at the time.  >:-o
 
Regards,
 
Ray.
 
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Nemo

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Re: I will never understand women!
« Reply #27 on: October 18, 2015, 06:39:31 PM »

When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter Paradise, God appeared and said, "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men who were true heads of their household and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women. I want all the women to report to St Peter."

Soon, the women were gone and there were two lines of men. The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was 100 miles long, and in the line of men who truly were heads of their household, there was only one man.

God said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you to be the head of your household. You have been disobedient and not fulfilled your purpose. I told you to be the spiritual leader in your family. Of all of you, only one obeyed. Learn from him. Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?"

The man replied, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here" 
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Nemo

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Re: I will never understand women!
« Reply #28 on: October 18, 2015, 06:42:10 PM »

How to avoid the woman - Work On Models All Night
women -if there's more than one in the household - Work On Models Every Night
Took me a while to work those acronyms out 'cause I was being nagged at the time.  >:-o 
Regards,Ray.

 {-) {-) Brilliant, the complete remedy!
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Fastfaz

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Re: I will never understand women!
« Reply #29 on: October 18, 2015, 09:31:47 PM »

   Paddy is walking down a beach in Southern Ireland mind wandering in no particular direction when he kicks a bottle sticking up from the tide line woosh! out comes a huge Genie who say's thank you for releasing me I have been trapped for a thousand years and as you have been the one to set me free I can grant you 1 wish but 1 wish only please tell me your wish.
   Paddy thinks about it for quite a while then say's all my family and friends now live in America and I cannot visit them as I am scared of flying and sailing on boats so I would like you to build me a bridge from Ireland to America.
   The Genie replies hold on Paddy that is a very big ask even for me I need you to come up with an easier wish that I can give you.
   Again Paddy thinks long and hard saying Okay then I want the ability  to understand how women's logic and how they think.
   Genie replies okay how many traffic lanes do you want on the bridge?
        And that is the case for the defence my Lord!
            Cheers,
                Faz. :-)) :-)) :-)) :-)) :-)) :-)) :-))
   
     
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canabus

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Re: I will never understand women!
« Reply #30 on: October 21, 2015, 12:53:06 AM »

Wife Tax !!!!
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mook

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Re: I will never understand women!
« Reply #31 on: October 31, 2015, 04:24:16 PM »

As a woman all I can say is our logic makes sense to us, it is men who can't be understood  %%

We need all these clothes as we can't wear the same outfit to any event that some one who may have been at a previous event would know it was the same out fit. 
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Fastfaz

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Re: I will never understand women!
« Reply #32 on: October 31, 2015, 05:44:47 PM »

  Who pays the bills? I have no problem with equality whatsoever if its 50%/50% i.e. sharing the load. But logic I am not going there as it would probably close down the forum with responses and thats without going down the women driver's route!
     Waiting abuse.
          Faz. :-)) :-)) :-)) :-)) :-)) :-)) :-))
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mook

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Re: I will never understand women!
« Reply #33 on: November 02, 2015, 04:36:00 PM »

Ok I'll respond, always split bills 50/50 men and women will never understand each other we are wired differently :-)
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plastic

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Re: I will never understand women!
« Reply #34 on: November 02, 2015, 06:19:19 PM »

Wired differently?
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Bob K

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Re: I will never understand women!
« Reply #35 on: November 02, 2015, 06:37:01 PM »

Let us not forget that in Creation Man was merely the initial prototype.  Woman was created a day later with all the advantages of advanced development processes - more attractive styling, unfathomable cunning, and the learned ability of doe eyed 'who, me?' to be able to wrap men round their little finger from the age of three.

Men might apply logic to consider all the facts then project likely scenarios.  Women work back from what they want and re-present their selection of facts to justify their aims. 
Guys, we can't win, it's like Neanderthals taking on Homo Sapiens at Chess.

"We're Doomed, Mr Mannering !!!" 
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Re: I will never understand women!
« Reply #36 on: November 02, 2015, 06:41:06 PM »

 :-)) I was going to put my halfpenny worth on this subject,but the wife is looking over my shoulder so cowardice being the better part of valour I am keeping stum,safer that way......Ray {-) {-) {-) {-)       
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Capt Podge

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Re: I will never understand women!
« Reply #37 on: November 02, 2015, 06:45:01 PM »

We should also bear in mind that Women have been campaigning for many, many years, for equal rights - they are making steady progress in that direction.  O0
 
In fact, they've been so successful that they can now retire at the same age as men.  {-) {-) {-)
 
Regards,
 
Ray.
 
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mook

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Re: I will never understand women!
« Reply #38 on: November 03, 2015, 06:36:26 PM »

So true not one of our best moves :((
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ballastanksian

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Re: I will never understand women!
« Reply #39 on: November 03, 2015, 08:50:06 PM »

No way on earth was the government going to reduce the mens retirement age!

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Capt Podge

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Re: I will never understand women!
« Reply #40 on: November 04, 2015, 10:34:50 PM »

So true not one of our best moves :((

Well, at least you're honest.  :-)
 
I've often wondered what it would be like if the Government consisted of mainly women - not the type that we have currently, but more of the housewife type.
At least the majority know how to run a budget.  O0
 
Regards,
 
Ray.
 
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Capt Podge

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Re: I will never understand women!
« Reply #41 on: November 04, 2015, 10:39:06 PM »

No way on earth was the government going to reduce the mens retirement age!



That's why I took early retirement - I wanted some leisure time back, for all the years of graft and paying into the system. :-))
 
Regards,
 
Ray.
 
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mook

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Re: I will never understand women!
« Reply #42 on: November 05, 2015, 05:51:23 PM »

When I started work my retirement age was 60 now it's 66 what it will be by the time I reach 66 is anyone's guess. Having said that when I was recently made redundant a colleague told me to enjoy my retirement cheeky  >>:-(
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ballastanksian

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Re: I will never understand women!
« Reply #43 on: November 05, 2015, 10:16:04 PM »

Cor, he's got some nerve <*< Seriously though, I do wonder when I will be allowed to retire. I expect the retirement age will be 72, so another 32.5 years to go :((

I agree with you Captain, you pay all yoiur taxes and stamp etc (National inurance contributions) so you should be able to claim back your pension. Its our money after all.
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Capt Podge

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Re: I will never understand women!
« Reply #44 on: November 06, 2015, 11:16:44 PM »

Here's some food for thought:-
 
I left school as a 15yr old and started work straight away. Even with meagre wages (5 per week) we still had to "pay into the pot" for retirement.
 
Now then, would I be right in saying that I had a verbal agreement with the Government to the effect that I would be obliged to work from age 15 until retirement at age 65 ?
 
That being the case, despite my taking early retirement, I still can't claim my state pension until I attain state pensionable age - and that has been changed to 66 - I certainly do not recall giving my consent to this, either verbal or written.
 
So now, the question has to be - is Her Majesty's Government in breach of contract ?
 
.....that should solicit some feedback. :-))
 
Regards,
 
Ray.
 
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chas

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Re: I will never understand women!
« Reply #45 on: November 06, 2015, 11:22:16 PM »

Simple answer. No. They're the government, and they can do what the xxxx they like with contracts. Ask any nurse, civil servant, etc etc.
Bxxxxxxs
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Capt Podge

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Re: I will never understand women!
« Reply #46 on: November 06, 2015, 11:30:44 PM »

Just need to add a little bit more - a verbal contract is just as binding as a written one, or so I'm lead to believe. O0
 
Regards,
 
Ray.
 
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Colin Bishop

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Re: I will never understand women!
« Reply #47 on: November 07, 2015, 12:06:14 AM »

Quite right Ray, you had a deal and the Government hasn't honoured it. If it was a private company you could sue but as it is the Government then hard luck but that is politics for you. Think yourself lucky that you have lost only one year, others have fared very much worse.

Personally I have been very lucky in that being born in 1948 I did get my state pension at 65. I spent most of my career in local government which has a final salary pension scheme. I was given early retirement on the grounds of redundancy at the age of 58 and given added years compensation plus a redundancy payment which added up to a decent lump sum and pension. They aren't so generous these days. But I don't feel guilty as a bargain was struck way back when I started work and I got my entitlement under that bargain. If the people responsible for the system have b*****d it up in the meantime then that isn't my fault. It wasn't my intention to stop working for my employers but their decision to remove my job.  As it happens, I have since found part time work by exploiting my hobby so all in all things have turned out quite well financially. But it was luck really. Just a case of being in the right place at the right time and getting off my backside to exploit my skills.

I get a winter fuel allowance which strictly I don't need but under the law as its stands I am entitled to it so I won't give it back although I might donate some to charity. If the law is changed to make me ineligible then I won't complain as that would be fair enough but I don't make the laws.

Pensioners are to some extent a protected species at the moment and generally have done well under the current general economic cutbacks and some people think that is unfair. However I can look back to many years when working in the public sector meant that you were a lot worse off than those in the private sector but people conveniently overlook that these days. At one point my Wife was reduced to cleaning school toilets to keep us afloat financially and it was only in the latter years of my career that we achieved a relatively comfortable standard of living so I have no qualms in accepting my pension payments.

People like to say that 'Baby Boomers' have had it easy and have compromised the aspirations of the younger generation. But they don't seem to realise that it was tough for us too with mortgage rates approaching double figures and taking all of one salary to meet. In our first house I made most of the furniture myself and my Wife made many of her clothes, something which would seem unbelievable today. We didn't even have a TV for the first couple of years and then it was black and white! No iPhones in those days.

One real problem today is that the housing market is totally screwed up with property being regarded as primarily an investment (a la buy to let) as opposed to being somewhere to live. But then mortgage rates are only a fraction of what we had to pay back in the 70s.

Each generation has their cross to bear but life goes on!

Colin

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Capt Podge

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Re: I will never understand women!
« Reply #48 on: November 07, 2015, 12:51:04 AM »

A very well worded response Colin, thanks for that. :-))
 
A number of times of late I have thought about chasing this one up however, it is extremely doubtful that any Legal Beagle would take such a thing on (a lot would depend upon who's in whose pocket or perhaps which school tie they wear)- just think of the ramifications if such a case was fought and won though  :o .
 
Self-criticism time. What on earth has this to do with understanding women  :((
 
Time for bed me thinks...
 
Regards,
 
Ray.
 
 
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derekwarner

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Re: I will never understand women!
« Reply #49 on: November 07, 2015, 01:15:38 AM »

What on earth has this to do with understanding women?   ...well you had the Iron Lady, <*< & we had the Carrot Top  :embarrassed:

Both were purported to be women  {-)..... Derek
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