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Author Topic: Jokes & Humour - 2019  (Read 12121 times)

Taranis

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
« Reply #50 on: June 11, 2019, 10:07:38 AM »

Noticed the E's missing, card board sign and measur-e - literacy isn't as good as it used to be (and I failed English)


The point is the text is too big because they didn't measure correctly  {-)  hence the E missing cos it wote fit the chiselled stone  %%
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ANDY
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roycv

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
« Reply #51 on: June 11, 2019, 10:54:59 AM »

I have always spelt floozie this way.  It is amazing how a good lady in many respects can become a floozie to another.
Roy
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dougal99

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
« Reply #52 on: June 11, 2019, 12:47:09 PM »


The point is the text is too big because they didn't measure correctly  {-)  hence the E missing cos it wote fit the chiselled stone  %%



He meant the E missing in Homeless in the picture of the man carrying the cardboard notice  :police:
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Taranis

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
« Reply #53 on: June 11, 2019, 12:51:30 PM »

 {-) :embarrassed:  Good call  :-))  as well as measur-e

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ANDY
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warspite

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
« Reply #54 on: June 12, 2019, 03:07:55 PM »

I told you I failed English 40+ years ago, so what do you expect  {-)  floosy indeed  %)
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roycv

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
« Reply #55 on: June 12, 2019, 11:05:09 PM »

Hi warspite I have just checked the spelling of the word and it seems we are both right.
Roy
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canabus

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We are ALL Criminals !!!
« Reply #56 on: June 26, 2019, 09:27:54 AM »

This is photo proof !!!

Canabus
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Capt Podge

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Re: We are ALL Criminals !!!
« Reply #57 on: June 26, 2019, 09:46:34 AM »

  {-) {-) {-)
... Love that one - cheered me up no end!
Regards,
Ray.



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Martin [Admin]

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
« Reply #58 on: July 05, 2019, 07:46:32 PM »


Simple explanation of Brushless motors & controllers....


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TheLongBuild

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
« Reply #59 on: July 05, 2019, 08:10:00 PM »


Don't Tell me you struggled with that perfectly dumbed down explanation of the Turbo Encabulator...


Sounds like a normal day at the pond when 10 men ( Yeah I know Sexist  :kiss: ) stand around a smouldering ESC trying to work out why it blew up.. :} :} :} :}

RST

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
« Reply #60 on: July 05, 2019, 08:51:10 PM »

Rubbish: a slight adjustment of the Jeffries Tubes with a calibrated triple overhead manifold sprocket is all that was required to achieve correlation.  In any case, everyone knows the correct tap with a ballpein hammer at the exact point is all that's required to disassociate cavitation i.e not aeration which is an entirely different bubble.

I also experience alot of reluctance at work at the moment:  Can't work out whether its induced or implied though it certainly comes in phases and we have now converted to HV-3pH on my project.  We know lubrication is required, but can't work out the lubricity or how to interject what term at the precice instance is required for a clean release.  We have the discombigulative equation, but can't work out whether to apply at normal or orthogonal terms, and from which direction.  Our purchasing dept. is applying LD's on suppliers we secured initial PO's with so it's kind of important even though the delay is internal from us.  I suggested a "Spanish Firework" might help the situation.  Seemed a good idea at the time, i'ts given me a weeks breathing space -but can I find one on the market now?

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david48

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
« Reply #61 on: July 06, 2019, 01:03:00 AM »

RS  did one a few years back but thy did not sell as thy were all pink I think the people who had the long stand made them
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Martin [Admin]

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
« Reply #62 on: July 13, 2019, 04:22:29 AM »

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TailUK

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
« Reply #63 on: July 16, 2019, 04:56:04 PM »

I'll get me coat...
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Martin [Admin]

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
« Reply #64 on: July 16, 2019, 07:29:22 PM »

 
 {-) {-)
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roycv

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
« Reply #65 on: July 31, 2019, 09:33:38 AM »

 The Prime Minister was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher knowing he was a product of Balliol college and his frequent extravagant use of the English language, asked the Prime Minister if he would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy". So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a "tragedy".
 
 One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field & a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a 'tragedy'" "No," says our P.M., "that would be an accident."
 
 A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy." "I'm afraid not," explained the Prime Minister "That's what we would call a great loss."
 
 The room went silent. No other children volunteered. The P.M. searched  the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of  “tragedy?"
 
 Finally, at the back of the room, a small boy raised his hand...In a quiet voice he said: "If the aeroplane carrying you was struck by a "friendly fire" missile & blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy. "Fantastic!" exclaimed the P.M. "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"
 
 "Well," says the boy "It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident either".
 
 
 
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jaymac

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
« Reply #66 on: August 10, 2019, 08:52:49 AM »

The passenger aircraft was fully loaded and in the air after takeoff when the announcement came over the loudspeaker:“Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve been working on a fully automatic piloting system for years that doesn’t need a flight crew and are proud to announce that it has been perfected.You are the first passengers to fly controlled by software only with nobody in the cockpit. We are proud that during all our testing there has never been a mistake, mistake, mistake, mistake, mistake, …”
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Colin Bishop

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
« Reply #67 on: August 10, 2019, 10:54:50 AM »

Saw this on another Forum...

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly-tailored black suit.

The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the blonde mortician a blank check and she says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.

She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I' m very grateful. How much did you sp end?' To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.

'There's no charge,' she says.

'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.

'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'




'So I just switched the heads.'
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Netleyned

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
« Reply #68 on: August 10, 2019, 11:00:57 AM »

 {-) {-) {-) {-) :-))


Ned (Currently residing Cardiac Ward Diana Princess of Wales
Hospital Grimsby) Not quite ready for head switching :D
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Colin Bishop

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
« Reply #69 on: August 10, 2019, 11:33:30 AM »

Get well soon Ned, hope all is going well.
Colin
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derekwarner

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
« Reply #70 on: August 10, 2019, 12:02:32 PM »

I would never joke about such things  >>:-( ....but if this is true Ned........our best wishes from Australia...... O0  ......... Derek
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Netleyned

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
« Reply #71 on: August 10, 2019, 12:20:01 PM »

Not a joke, Derek, just waiting for a slot for an Angiogram and possible Angioplasty.
Thanks for the good wishes and thanks to you Colin.
Ned
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Taranis

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
« Reply #72 on: August 10, 2019, 01:46:53 PM »

Very Best wishes Ned
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ANDY
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Martin [Admin]

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
« Reply #73 on: August 10, 2019, 02:54:03 PM »


'So I just switched the heads.'


That's terrible!   {-) {-) {-) {-)
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Martin [Admin]

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
« Reply #74 on: August 10, 2019, 02:55:44 PM »


Ned (Currently residing Cardiac Ward Diana Princess of Wales
Hospital Grimsby) Not quite ready for head switching :D


All the best Neddy!

 i'll send flowers and grapes for tea time!    ok2
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