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[warspite]

  - ha ha ha ha ha ha ha  - now I see it, as soon as I scrolled up - gone was the dead parrot but a cowboy, what a fool I was

[Martin (Admin)]

It's one of those, 'once you see it, you can't unsee it'!

[Capt Podge]

Thanks for enlightening us Joe - I can see it clearly now. 

Regards,

Ray.

[NFMike]

It's one of those, 'once you see it, you can't unsee it'!


There's been a few photos posted that fall into that category 

[Nemo]

 

[Onetenor]

Turn the original sideways  to the right and ypu;ve got a sailing barge ( Phoenician or Greek or similar ) with a sail and figures on deck

[dougal99]

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night, covered in fresh blood. He parked himself on the ceiling of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and started hassling him about where he’d got it. He told them to 'go away' and let him get some sleep. However, they persisted until he finally gave in. “Okay, follow me,” he said as he flapped out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest of trees. Finally he slowed and all the other bats excitedly milled around him. “Now, do you see that tree over there?” he asked. “YES, YES, YES!” all the other bats screamed in a frenzy. “GOOD,” shouted the bat, “BECAUSE I FLAMIN DIDN’T

[warspite]

Or  (it's better in picture form) one old bat says to another - you know I hate about getting old, no said the bat next to him, the first bat replied - incontinance

[Martin (Admin)]

Forty+  is....

Going to Aldi or Lidl for Eggs,bread, milk & potatoes ...
 and leaving with a two man tent, a chainsaw and a trumpet!

[Netleyned]

 

Forgot the Lycra Cycle shorts
Ned

[dougal99]

Dont forget Sixty is the new 40   erm 35 

[Martin (Admin)]

 
Helium Beer!

https://youtu.be/DLNAwC4r87M?t=53s

[Martin (Admin)]

 
BBC:  Who is Theresa May: A profile of UK's next prime minister

          http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-36660372

[Onetenor]

MAYbe

[Nemo]

 

[Nemo]

Fred and his girlfriend lived in Eastbourne and one day they decided to go and see the 'northern lights'. They figured that they would just drive north until they got to the end and that should do it. So, they set out on their trip and they're both very excited. They are so excited that it is all they can talk about.

Well, after a long drive they eventually got to Wick. They find a nice field in which to park, and the entire sky is lit up with the beautiful northern lights. The guy, who's been driving, leaps out of the car at the wonder of it all; he's jumping up and down like a little kid.

Meanwhile, his girlfriend is still sitting in the car and reading a magazine. He can't believe it! So he says, "What's the matter? Does the Aurora bore you, Alice?"

[Martin (Admin)]

 
Good to see  BangGood's  publicity department is up to the same quality as some of their products!

[Nemo]

Sounds like a boat I was looking at the other day - it came with a 'very complete infantry'! 

[Nemo]

One dark night, as a group of American tourists huddled in Dirty Nelly's, a well-known pub in Killarney, Ireland, a local Irishman sidled up to one of them and proposed a scheme to sell a cure for leprosy.

"I'm sorry," said the American stiffly, "I'm not Irish. I don't believe in leper cons."

[tr7v8]

A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. One day she asked Johnny what his problem was he replied, “I’m too smart for the first grade, my sister is in the third grade and I’m smarter than her too.”
The teacher took him to the principal’s office and explained the situation to the principal. The principal told her that he would give Johnny a test, and if he failed to answer one question he would have to go back to the first grade and be quiet. The teacher and Johnny both agreed.
Principal: “What is 3 x 3?”
Johnny: “9.”
Principal: “6 x 6?”
Johnny: “36.”
And so it went on like this, the principal asked him every question a third grader should know. Finally after about an hour he told the teacher “I see no reason Johnny can’t go to the third grade, he answered all of my questions right.”
The teacher asked if she could ask him some questions. The principal and Johnny agree.
Teacher: “What does a cow have 4 of that I only have 2 of?”
Johnny: “Legs”
Teacher: “What do you have in your pants that I don’t have?”
The principal gasps but before he can stop him from answering Johnny says, “Pockets.”
Teacher: “What does a dog do that a man steps into?”
Johnny: “Pants.”
Teacher: “What starts with F and ends with K and means a lot of excitement?”
Johnny: “Firetruck.”
The principal breaths a big sigh of relief and says “Put Johnny in the fifth grade, I got the last 4 questions wrong myself.”

[imsinking]

I KNEW that kid was clever 
Bill

[Martin (Admin)]

 
BBC: The top 15 funniest jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe

    "My dad has suggested that I register for a donor card. He's a man after my own heart" - Masai Graham

    "Why is it old people say "there's no place like home", yet when you put them in one…" - Stuart Mitchell

    "I've been happily married for four years - out of a total of 10" - Mark Watson

    "Apparently 1 in 3 Britons are conceived in an IKEA bed which is mad because those places are really well lit" - Mark Smith

    "I went to a pub quiz in Liverpool, had a few drinks so wasn't much use.
     Just for a laugh I wrote The Beatles or Steven Gerrard for every answer… came second" - Will Duggan

    "Brexit is a terrible name, sounds like cereal you eat when you are constipated" - Tiff Stevenson

    "I often confuse Americans and Canadians. By using long words" - Gary Delaney

    "Why is Henry's wife covered in tooth marks? Because he's Tudor" - Adele Cliff

    "Don't you hate it when people assume you're rich because you sound posh and
      went to private school and have loads of money?" - Annie McGrath

    "Is it possible to mistake schizophrenia for telepathy, I hear you ask" - Jordan Brookes

    "Hillary Clinton has shown that any woman can be President, as long as your husband did it first" - Michelle Wolf

    "I spotted a Marmite van on the motorway. It was heading yeastbound" - Roger Swift

    "Back in the day, Instagram just meant a really efficient drug dealer" - Arthur Smith

    "I'll tell you what's unnatural in the eyes of God. Contact lenses" - Zoe Lyons

    "Elton John hates ordering Chinese food. Soya seems to be the hardest word" - Phil Nicol

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-37154550

 

[Martin (Admin)]

Shortly after take-off on an outbound, on a long haul flight, the lead flight attendant nervously made the following embarrassed announcement:
             
"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so very sorry, but it  appears that there has been a terrible mix-up by our catering service. I   don't know how this has happened, but we have 103 passengers on board, and unfortunately, we received only 40 dinner meals. I truly apologize for this mistake and  inconvenience."
             
When all the muttering of the passengers had died down, she
continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal so that someone might like, they will receive free and unlimited drinks for the next 2 hours.
             
Her next announcement came about 2 hours  later:
"If  anyone is hungry, we still have 40 dinners  available."

[Nemo]

Just a few giggles from the late, great, Two Ronnies:

Ronnie Corbett: Do you think marriage is a lottery?
Ronnie Barker: No. With a lottery you do have a slight chance.

'A strange thing happened during a performance of Elgar's Sea Pictures at a concert hall in Bermuda tonight. The man playing the triangle disappeared.'

'The prime minister held a meeting with the cabinet today. He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the chest of drawers.'

'Have you heard the one about the retired general who said he had not had sex since 1956? His friend said, 'That's a long time ago. 'I don't know, 'the general replied.' It's only 20.27 now.'

'The man who invented the zip fastener was today honoured with a lifetime peerage. He will now be known as the Lord of the Flies.'

'Next week we'll be investigating rumours that the president of the dairy council has become a Mason, and goes around giving his colleagues the secret milkshake.'

 ♪'We'll continue our investigation into the political beliefs of nudists. We've already noticed a definite swing to the left.'

'In a packed programme tonight we will be talking to an out-of-work contortionist who says he can no longer make ends meet.'

'Following the dispute with the domestic servants' union at Buckingham Palace today, the Queen, a radiant figure in a white silk gown and crimson robe, swept down the main staircase and through the hall. She then dusted the cloakroom and vacuumed the lounge.'

[canabus]

www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=O70Ww9vzjvg