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Author Topic: Re: Jokes & Humour 3  (Read 181396 times)

Roger in France

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Re: Re: Jokes & Humour 3
« Reply #225 on: September 10, 2010, 11:11:28 am »

Martin,

Just what medication are you on at the moment?

Roger in France
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Colin Bishop

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Re: Re: Jokes & Humour 3
« Reply #226 on: September 10, 2010, 11:43:58 am »

How Twins are made.

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chingdevil

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Re: Re: Jokes & Humour 3
« Reply #227 on: September 10, 2010, 12:36:18 pm »

Martin
I was hoping that was the result for next when I go to the Oval next Friday :-)) :-)) :-)) :-)) :-))
Roger I am not sure what Martin is on, but I want some %% %% %% %%


Brian
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davidm1945

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Re: Re: Jokes & Humour 3
« Reply #228 on: September 10, 2010, 01:38:01 pm »

It's OK Martin I got it! Funny and clever!!

Dave
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Netleyned

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Re: Re: Jokes & Humour 3
« Reply #229 on: September 10, 2010, 06:42:03 pm »

Sports News:
 
  England have beaten Pakistan by 5 wickets at Taunton next Thursday.

Do you want to bet on that >>:-( >>:-( >>:-(

Ned
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malcolmfrary

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Re: Re: Jokes & Humour 3
« Reply #230 on: September 15, 2010, 12:19:49 pm »

The guy who owned the Odeon cinema group has died.

His funeral is next Friday at 2.10, 4.20 and 8.40.
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Martin (Admin)

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Re: Re: Jokes & Humour 3
« Reply #231 on: September 15, 2010, 08:06:42 pm »


Card Trick:   OK, how is this done?!?!?

                            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9lFe504i2s
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dougal99

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Re: Re: Jokes & Humour 3
« Reply #232 on: September 15, 2010, 08:31:46 pm »

Card Trick:   OK, how is this done?!?!?

                            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9lFe504i2s


very carefully  remember pppppp  {-)
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Prophet

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Re: Re: Jokes & Humour 3
« Reply #233 on: September 15, 2010, 10:44:04 pm »

heres one to trick your freinds  :-))

instructions first off open this link

http://darkartsmedia.com/google.html

best bet is to setup the page before anyone sees so delete the current web address and type in http://www.google.co.uk but DONT hit enter this is just a rouse!

now were going to make the g 00 gle vanish just the '00'

The Trick

take 2 fingers and start to rub the googles.. oo's

at the same time when rubbing double click anywhere on the screen this will activate the 00 to vanish, :o

next up time to get them back .. put ya 2 fingers over the 00 again and rub at the same time double click anywhere on the screen and watch the 00 return .. now heres the real trick  ok2

to get away with the trick you need to prove that the google home page is real... so double quick again on the page and it will reload sharpish to the official google home page for normal use  :-)) :-))


now you can freak out anyone you fancy with your amazing abilitys over computers!

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Netleyned

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Re: Re: Jokes & Humour 3
« Reply #234 on: September 16, 2010, 07:19:38 am »

TFT and LCD screens do not take kindly to excessive rubbing


Ned
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Martin (Admin)

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Re: Re: Jokes & Humour 3
« Reply #235 on: September 17, 2010, 10:00:08 pm »

 :o
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essex2visuvesi

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Re: Re: Jokes & Humour 3
« Reply #236 on: September 17, 2010, 11:18:52 pm »

Its a Microphone!!!!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/facebook/7953453/Kylie-Minogue-bear-photo-banned-from-Facebook.html

Or is it just the happiest bear on the planet right now? lol
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RaaArtyGunner

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Re: Re: Jokes & Humour 3
« Reply #237 on: September 27, 2010, 11:24:58 pm »

 

Little Firefighter

If you don't laugh at this one, you're not breathing…..

A firefighter was working on the engine outside the Station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.

The girl was wearing a firefighter’s helmet.

The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat.

The firefighter walked over to take a closer look. 'That sure is a nice fire truck,' the firefighter said with admiration

'Thanks,' the girl replied.


The firefighter looked a little closer.  The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.

'Little partner,' the firefighter said, 'I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster. '

The little girl replied thoughtfully, 'You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren.'

 



 





 
 
 
 
 


 
 
 


 
 


 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

 
 
 
 
 
 

 




 .

 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 
 
 
 

 
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essex2visuvesi

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Re: Re: Jokes & Humour 3
« Reply #238 on: September 28, 2010, 08:21:41 am »

Thats funny!
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derekwarner

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Re: Re: Jokes & Humour 3
« Reply #239 on: September 28, 2010, 08:33:56 am »

I didn't think so  {-) {-) {-) {-) ...but the again I am convict stock from OZ  <:( :-X .....Derek
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Derek Warner

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RaaArtyGunner

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Re: Re: Jokes & Humour 3
« Reply #240 on: September 28, 2010, 10:53:52 am »

Aha Derek,
Art though a cat lover  %) %)
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derekwarner

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Re: Re: Jokes & Humour 3
« Reply #241 on: September 28, 2010, 11:33:38 am »

mmm.... thankyou RaaArtyGunner .... according to my copy of the King George's Bible.......page 1024: paragraph : 14a) ....

1) & "he who walks with a cat will be struck down"......
2) if I re-phrased this to "he who walks with a pussy will be struck down"
3) as crazy as it may be...if I had stated "walks with a pussy" I could have been moderated & presented with a  yellow  card    :police:

My only copy of the King George's Bible is a [200 year old] minature as per the following attachment....for those interested...please read page 1024.....paragraph : 14a)

4) I do understand that modelboatmayhem is not a venue for religious teachings ....however we could all refreash by remembering things like

5) he who casts the first stone & people in glass houses etc ........
My best regards to the hundreds of Mayhem members who continue to visit this WEB site each 24 hour day....Derek  :-))


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Derek Warner

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Martin (Admin)

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Re: Re: Jokes & Humour 3
« Reply #242 on: October 03, 2010, 04:25:04 pm »


You know it's going to be a bad day when.....

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Peter Fitness

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Re: Re: Jokes & Humour 3
« Reply #243 on: October 04, 2010, 12:43:48 am »

That looks something like the dust storm that hit eastern Australia about this time last year.

Peter.
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hmsantrim

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Re: Re: Jokes & Humour 3
« Reply #244 on: October 04, 2010, 05:55:38 am »

                  
                  (Click to enlarge)


                      
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Tug-Kenny RIP

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Re: Re: Jokes & Humour 3
« Reply #245 on: October 04, 2010, 11:47:52 am »


              {-)  {-)  {-)


ken

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Peter Fitness

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Re: Re: Jokes & Humour 3
« Reply #246 on: October 05, 2010, 05:55:28 am »

Definitely not in the interests of marital harmony  {-) {-)

Peter.
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RaaArtyGunner

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Re: Re: Jokes & Humour 3
« Reply #247 on: October 05, 2010, 11:38:14 am »

Hows this for Marital harmony. O0 O0 O0

Who Says Men Don't Remember Anniversaries
 
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.

She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front him.
 He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee.

"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room.
"Why are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 17?" he asks solemnly.

The wife is touched thinking her husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do," she replies.

The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily.
"Do you remember when you father caught us in the back seat of my car?"

"Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues..."Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years".
"I remember that too", she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says... "I would have gotten out today!"

 %) %) %)


 

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DickyD

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Re: Re: Jokes & Humour 3
« Reply #248 on: October 06, 2010, 11:16:52 am »

                    Two Red Indians and an Irishman were walking through the woods.
                    All of a sudden one of the Red Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave.

                    'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' he called into the cave and listened closely until he heard an answering,
                    'Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo!
                    He then tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.

                    The Irishman was puzzled and asked the remaining Indian what it was all about,.
                    'Was the other Indian crazy or what?'

                    The Indian replied 'No, It is our custom during mating season when Indian men see cave, they holler
                    'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' into the opening. If they get an answer back, it means there's a beautiful squaw in there waiting for us.

                    Just then they came upon another cave.
                    The second Indian ran up to the cave, stopped, and hollered,

            'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!'
            Immediately, there was the answer.
            'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' from deep inside.

            He also tore off his clothes and ran into the opening.

            The Irishman wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then spied a third large cave.

        As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking,
        'Hoo, man! Look at the size of this cave! It is bigger than those the Indians found.
        There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!'

        He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might
        'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' Like the others, he then heard an answering call, 'WOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOO!'
        With a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave,tearing off his clothes as he ran.

The following day, the headline of the local newspaper read...............









    You'll like this

























    NAKED IRISHMAN RUN OVER BY TRAIN!!!














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Colin Bishop

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Re: Re: Jokes & Humour 3
« Reply #249 on: October 06, 2010, 03:02:41 pm »

 {-) {-) {-) {-)
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