DARWIN AWARDS 2007
Yes, it's again that magical time of the year when The Darwin Awards
are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
Here is the glorious Winner:
1. When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during a hold-up in Long Beach , California , would-be robber, James
Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the
barrel and tried the trigger again.
This time it worked !
And now, the Honourable Mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting
machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company
expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself.
He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The claim was approved.
3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped.
Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a near by bus
stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered
the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the
patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The
deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
wounds received from an on coming train. When asked how he received the
wounds he said he was trying to see how close he could get his head to a
moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which
the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he
got from the drawer: $15.
(If someone points a gun at you and g ives you money, is a crime
committed)
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be
thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was
made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
grabbed her purse and ran.
The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them
a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police
apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to
the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand
there for a positive ID ... to which he replied, 'Yes, officer, that's
her. That's the lady I stole the purse from.'
9. The Ann Arbour News crime column reported that a man walked into a
Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan , at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion
rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man,
frustrated, walked away.
******A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked
on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police
arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor
home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man
admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into
the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle
declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever
had.
